Ina Jansen
Nieuw begin…. – EN
Nieuw begin…. – EN

Nieuw begin…. – EN

tipping point and much to celebrate

Bam ! …

A new beginning. I felt it during the second day of hiking last weekend in the Estrela, the roof of Portugal. Me with my backpack. Backpack with sleeping bag, tent and ski suit and thermos flask of warm water. He with a similar baggage…

It got cold during the night when the North-Eastern wind came up. The tent was pitched just a little too far on the east side of the mountain. The mountain we found shelter on was a flat piece of ground..

And then the thoughts run through your head….maybe it will be stormy, colder than this -and am I prepared enough?

In any case, next time I will bring my own old sleeping bag, with down feathers. This time, I gave in to an apparently thicker one that someone had once given me, with a moisture-resistant exterior (it said so on the cover). Total polyester, so no warmth. Nothing for me, so, so, so, so….

BAM! That came in.

Stay true to yourself and keep your eyes open. In this, I “died” again for a while. What else is possible than this, I asked myself in the night. The part of my body that had contact with the ground was always warm, I turned from time to time – and my ski trousers kept me warm with the woolen leggings underneath, leg warmers and socks of wool. A wool hat, a wool t-shirt and a lovely knitted woolen scarf to close the ski jacket up to the top. And believe me, I also slept well.

A special night in the serene air.

A night to a new beginning.

That was the first thing that went through my mind when I woke up by the sun.

They were Gate Days, 11-02-2022 and 12-02-2022. The days when the veils are thin.

And today is 16 February, full moon in Leo.

One year, the first lambs were born in Vierakker, where I kept sheep.

And also the date on which my mother suffered the first severe physical symptoms of heart failure in her life and was admitted to the regional hospital. She came home from this hospital the same morning my youngest son was born.

The youngest almost 18. Half of his young life he “had to” deal with a distant mother. There has always been contact. That line remains. That mother-child line. I knew that when I left and at the same time I did not know HOW. A broken mother’s heart. A lot of tears have been shed, angry words spoken, “kicked and beaten” ….. and I kept asking, what else is possible than this?

We chose each other, my child and I (of course he doesn’t want to hear this!), it is a cosmic law. This wise child, like all the others -who in the womb already experienced everything, of what took place in my life and prepared the way with me…not knowing.

The tipping point from aid worker to aid worker…….

I had stopped working as an obstetrics/gynaecology nurse at the local hospital for about three years and my pedicure practice had been discontinued a year ago. My body was giving me the signals….

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